Can't believe it's been five (5) months since the last playlist post and we're still not through with this pandemic. Jakarta, just the city itself, currently sits at about a thousand new cases a day and that's only the reported ones; God knows how many lives just went and gone unnoticed.
My family and university are sensible enough that they still have a work-from-home setup throughout this year, so we're not too badly off. I mentioned in my March post how, despite being a massive introvert and already been working from home for a couple of months already, I was taking it hard. Well, I think I've gotten used to the whole thing, but there were still some difficult moments. Shit keep happening in the world. Sometimes I just wasted away entire days, not being able to keep my head straight.
But enough about that. I've been playing games and reading books and working on a couple of personal projects throughout this quarantine, so it wasn't entirely bad. Here's what I've been tuning into.
Books
The Stormlight Archive (Book 1-3) by Brandon Sanderson
I wrote a review for the first book (The Way of Kings) back in May. After writing that I proceeded to bulldoze through book 2 (Words of Radiance) in about three days, the fact that it's a thousand page thick be damned. Shortly after that I tried my hardest to not be tempted by book 3 (Oathbringer), because I want to savour the taste a bit longer, and then just failed spectacularly and proceeded to read the entire thing too. In less than a week. Well well well.
Apparently I took the time to wrote some thoughts about book 2, if you want to read that.
My thoughts from the first book's review still stand: it could have been a much lighter, much shorter, much more easily digestible story, but it doesn't want to be that and thank goodness it isn't. A sprawling fantasy story is difficult to nail but Stormlight Archive is really very good. I've grown attached to these characters and would happily devour a couple more thousand-pages tome of their endeavour.
I have a crush on Kaladin Stromblessed and I'm not even ashamed.
And I think Shallan, Kaladin, and Adolin should just be in a poly relationship. Shallan has two hands. She can have two husbands. That's fine.
Red Seas Under Red Sky (Gentleman Bastard Book 2) by Scott Lynch
I'm not actually sure when I first read the first book of the series, The Lies of Locke Lamora. I think it wasn't too long ago; January of this year, maybe, before the lockdowns. I was impressed by the very distinct prose, the way even the telling of the story---so confident and rude and not embarrassed of being casually clever---is so full of character and help builds into the story itself. And then there was that one moment, halfway through the book, when I planned to read "maybe a bit" but somehow I went on reading and reading and reading, completely taken in by the world, sweating anxiously as the events play out in it, unable to put it down because I just have to know what will happen next.
I keep chasing that high ever since I finished it. Every other book that doesn't make feel that way just disappoint me in some way.
The first book works very well as a stand-alone, and I tried my best to not be tempted by the second book. It feels sacred, somehow, that feeling of being unable to put it down. I wanted to save it for an important time, I think, a time when I really need it. Whatever my excuses, I got the book anyway; that was last week, I think? Finished it in three days. I guess in a way I really did save it for an important time, because in those three days I was in a dark spot and reading the further misadventures of Locke Lamora kept me someplace more pleasant.
Anyway. Red Seas isn't as good a Lies, if only because it tries to be too many things at once. The prose is still impeccable, but plot-wise it stumbles here and there. I still thoroughly enjoyed it and would recommend it if you like the first book.
Silver in the Wood by Emily Tesh
A short novella, finished in two sittings. It's just a very well done modern fairy tale, that mixing of modern-minded characters and modern-day setting sprinkled with literal magic. A strong sense of lore, a tender bit of romance, a plot that doesn't try to be more than what it was. Though not very remarkable, I enjoyed the time I spent with it.
The Shape of the Ruins by Juan Gabriel Vásquez
I am a Vasquez fan. I read his The Secret History of Costaguana a long time ago and though it was a struggle to really get into it, I really did, indeed, get into it. It's one of my favourite books now. Vasquez writes historical fiction with attitude, with strong emotions embedded within every word. It could just be Latin American Spanish, or maybe it's all thanks to the excellent translation to English, but whatever it was, his writing has an oomph to it that makes even banal scenes interesting if not because of the scenes itself, at least for the impression the narration made on me.
Some years (months?) back, I read another novel of his, The Informers. For some reason, I remember next to nothing about it, but, like a dream that I've already began to forget, some scenes still play out in my head as vivid as when I first conjured them out of its narration. Have I really read the book? Are those scenes from this book, specifically? Yes, obviously, but then how come I remember nothing else? How come I remember what that building look like, but not how we got here? How come I know who this character is, without knowing how I met them?
I'm still halfway through The Shape of the Ruins and already I feel like I'm being gaslighted. It's a fiction set today, about the real-life murders of Jorge Eliécer Gaitán and JFK, and the conspiracies (believed by real-life people) that surround them. Vasquez has the boldness, or maybe he had finally stopped putting up pretext, to name the main character also Vasquez, to also make him a novelist, and to make him wrote books that he also specifically wrote (there were direct references to the main character writing Costaguana and The Informers). At some point I lost track which part is fact, which part he made up himself for the novel, which part is made up but believed to be true by which side of reality, and I think that's entirely deliberate. Damn.
I'm not done with it. So far I feel it's lesser than his other books I've read, but let's see where this goes.
The Anti-Recommendations
Unfortunately I have also been spending this quarantine reading books that I ended up not enjoying. Mind you, this might just be because of my personal taste as opposed to the book's failings.
At the top of that list is Steel Crow Saga by Paul Kruger, which has an interesting premise but just an abysmal story all around. I wrote a short review for it in Goodreads: "The prose seems to care more about making cool lines than actually telling the story. The characters are great on paper but insufferable in the narration. Some plot points just feel shoveled in instead of being built up towards. Plenty of conflicts in the story are resolved with a hand-wavy deux ex machina moments."
Tooth and Claw by Jo Walton is a regency-era-ish Jane Austin-ish novel about rich aristocrats and fawning ladies and romance in the midst of patriarchy, but all the characters are literal dragons. This should be my kind of thing, but I think it leans bit too much on the regency drama and not enough on the fire-breathing cannibal winged beasts angle. It drags. And how the story being about patriarchal rich aristocrats who don't give two shits about the common people really leave a bad taste in my mouth.
I feel bad for saying The Calculating Stars by Mary Robinette Kowal is not a good book, because the part that I don't enjoy about it is actually the part that's done well. The main character is a woman scientist who is talented but is constantly held back by her anxiety. Throughout the story, which involves a doomnsday scenario of a meteor devastating half the planet in the midst of the Cold War, she constantly relies on her husband and her friends for support.
The writing is a solid depiction of anxiety and the frustration of having to deal with being treated as lesser than men. I find that some of her actions and feelings, though it leaves a bad taste in my mouth, mirrors my own anxieties. It's just not very pleasant to read even though it's well-written.
Games
Since I'm still in the mood of talking about books and stories, I'm gonna focus more on narrative games this time around.
Yes, Your Grace
A game where you manage you're a king trying to manage your kingdom while also trying and failing to be a good dad. I quite like the main loop of the game: answering people's petition and deciding whether to help them or conserve your resource, taking the time to visit your daughters, wandering around the beautiful pixel-art scenery. It's a lot more story-based than a simulation, but the simulation---the light number management, the balancing act of saying yes and no---is such a nice way to further immerse yourself in the story. This feels like the kind of game that I want to be able to make.
I'm not sure how linear the story is. I managed to reach the ending in my first playthrough (as in, I didn't die halfway there), and I don't get the urge to play again from the beginning. Decisions that seem major tend to get nullified by a bigger event down the line, but still I feel the act of making those choices matter, at least for me. Choices aren't always meant to steer the story; some are just there to help you define how you perceive it.
According to my Switch I beat it in 5 hours, which surprises me because I feel like the game was longer than that, in a good way. It's pretty substantial. Maybe not as substantial as some people may like, but I'm happy playing shorter games.
Kentucky Route Zero
I've been eyeing this game for who knows how long; ever since Act 1 was released, maybe, years ago. This game has got to be the most polished narrative game there is. It's like every frame, every transition, every bit of interaction was tuned by hand to give the most narrative impact.
I will happily sing praises about KR0 everywhere I go (the music and sound direction! The aesthetic! The way it plays with lighting and shapes to gives a sense of depths! The way it uses motions to convey emotions!), but I'm not really sure I'll openly recommend it to anyone. It's quiet and contemplative, it's slow as a calm river in a cloudy day, it's like poetry. Its story and storytelling are weird enough that even I can't tell what it's on about most of the time, I can only feel it.
I understand most people play KR0 as it releases so there are long breaks between each Acts. I think that's the ideal way to play it too. KR0 is a short game that doesn't need to be long. I just finished Act II and I'm already nervous because I don't want it to end so quickly.
Games from That Itch Bundle
Back in June when there were mass protests around America on police brutality and racial justice, Itch.io released a massive bundle to support the cause, selling 1000+ games, game assets, and other paraphernalia for as low as 5 USD. To this day I'm still slowly wading through them, trying new things out, taking notes of which ones I like. I'll write a whole blog posts about what I've found later, but for now here are some narrative-centric games that I liked:
if not us is an absolutely brilliant Twine-and-parser interactive fiction in five parts. Each part feature a different character, a different way to play, and a different divergence of the story's timeline, each with multiple endings as well. Obtuse as hell though. Confusing to its core, but very earnest; if you let yourself be taken by its emotion you'll eventually uncover what the story is about. Ugh. I've been trying to convince my friends to play the game so we can discuss the story together but alas, no luck.
Arcade Spirits is a visual novel about friendship and working together against the odds, and also about game arcades and an alternate future that's less cyberpunk dystopia and more neon-colored bright lights. It's well-polished, with a fun cast and a strong team dynamic. What I really dig about it though is how boldly optimistic it is. It's a comforting balance of showing real anxieties and being uplifted by your peers. I play it at nights when I feel down and I always feel a bit better afterwards.
Signs of the Sojourner is about making conversations and trying to connect with other people, even though they don't come from the same background as you. Despite its premise, it's actually the most gamey game I've mentioned so far in this blog post! Conversations are held as a card game, not with dialogue choices, but this card game somehow manage to distill and abstract away what a true conversation is like: the attempts to be on the same page, the quiet pain when we misunderstand each other, how each and every person you meet change how you'll think and talk. I have half of a full review sitting in my drafts. Maybe one day I'll finish it.
The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt
Every time Geralt of Rivia mentions how Ciri is "like a daughter" to him, I want to put his head between my hand like a sandwich and tell him, very gently, that he can just say that Ciri is his daughter. It's okay, Geralt. You can just say you're looking for your daughter. I'm sure Ciri thinks of you as her dad too!
Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Yes, I am aware I've been playing this game for over a year already. Yes, I am aware I've put over 350 hours on this beast. Yes, I've beaten it three times. I don't care. I love this game, and I am not done with it! I still have an all-fliers run to go. I'm still halfway through Silver Snow. I might even be tempted to try a speedrun.
I am not yet done with it!
Animal Crossing: New Horizons, Splatoon 2, Super Smash Bros. Ultimate
"Can’t really justify spending 60 American dollars for a genre I’ve historically had trouble enjoying," I wrote about Animal Crossing back in March. Jokes on me. I did eventually got the game. And I love it. Not worth 60 American dollars, because that's a lot of money, but I'm happy enough with my purchase. The charm wore off after a month or two, but it's still a nice place to visit every now and then.
Anyway. These three games are the games I go to when I just want to fool around with my Switch for an hour or two. They're good for short sessions.
I got Splatoon for my sister, but I was surprised to find that I really enjoy it too, even on a somewhat competitive level. It's fun. I'm glad the online scene is still active and running, even though 80% of it seems to be Japanese.
Smash Bros is good. I don't play competitively at all, but I still have fun versus the computer or against/with my sister in local multiplayer. I main Ike, Marth, Dark Pit and recently Byleth. Swordsswordsswordsbows.
Projects
My God what have I been doing this quarantine? As always, it feels like I've been wasting my life away.
The most recent thing I finished was a blog theme I named "Big Black", which I made in, about a week I think? Five days? I'm actually pretty proud of it! I designed it myself, even though I hade historically been pretty bad at visual design. The CSS and HTML are built by hand from the grounds up, no framework or boilerplate(... other than normalize.css). Fully responsive, utilizing some modern CSS technology.
Making that blog theme pushed me to continue work on writing my CSS guide, which I mentioned in my playlist post from March. It's... well, it's progressing, I suppose.
I made a Python web app that's like a library where I keep my original characters from all the stories I've made. I poured so many hours and days into it, built some elaborate but unconventional systems for it. It's, well, the app itself is done, but I'm uncomfortable sharing it to the public. I also don't end up using it much, because I, myself, am scared of it. It's like I've built a house of cards. It feels like it can collapse at any second.
So I guess it was educational to do. But not otherwise productive. Hmm. Shame.
I've been writing stories. Or I have been trying, at least. Plenty of failures here and there. Seems words just have a way to run away when I need them the most. Writing this blog post is an attempt at trying to find those words back. Can't say if it's successful yet. Feels like I'm just throwing words at the wind.
I am reasonably proud of at least these two Fire Emblem Three Houses fanfics: one that's unexpectedly Gothic horror, and one about a wyvern and a prince.
I'm struggling to think of how else I've spent these last few months. I did plenty of paid freelance translating. Classes in my university is still ongoing, and I wrote some decent essays during the short semester a month back. I don't know. Some days it's just hard to find a silver lining.
Well. I reckon I've talked too much already. Here's to the rest of 2020 not blowing up in our collective faces further.
