I'm in a writing mood and it seems like a good day to write a playlist post i.e. hear me ramble about the games/books/shows/projects I experienced recently! The last one was in February, which is about half a year ago, isn't it? I don't know how I keep consistently writing these every half a year.
For one thing, I'm a lot less worried about my day job. I think I've found my footing, my niche, even. I feel like I have a role that not a lot of people can cover, which makes me feel… powerful? Less insecure, at least. The one thing that bothers me is that this footing I've found is being a game developer, haha. Do you know rare of a posting that is in this country? If I lost my current job, somehow, I might have as much luck making money from opening a new indie studio than applying somewhere else (which is to say, not a lot).
Anyway, I'm pretty happy with where I am now. Working on the weekdays, playing games at night, do silly projects (or just play more games) on the weekends. I have friends, some of which I only talk to once in a blue moon, but when we talk it's like we've never parted, so that's good. Like… yeah, sometimes I want more. What if I have more friends (what if I have a boyfriend). What if I can spend more times with creative projects. What if I can actually finish a whole dang story without its incompleteness haunting me. But, for now, I'm content. It's alright to take things slowly.
Anyway! Games!
Arknights
I think I've already talked enough about how much I love this game i.e. a game made specifically for me but in a deranged way, etc etc. I still love its writing, it's stories and characters. I have a very good team now. They might be weirdos by the meta standard, but they're my weirdos, and I know how to best make use of them. I think there's something to be said there about how gacha games like this one foster attachment with the characters you get, but that sounds like an essay for another time.
In any case, I can finish the levels that unlock stories comfortably now, and I if I put a little effort I can do the high-difficulty ones without too much trouble. That's good enough for me. I recently got full achievement in a few seasonal events too; no mean feat, and spending time for that felt very rewarding.
It's also nice that it's not a very demanding game. When I'm tired or my brain is fuzzy, sometimes just logging in, saying hi to the characters, and doing a little management is enough. Event duration are long enough that I can read the story/play the stages in peace, and the deadweeks between events are appreciated. I'm still in love with the carp and just seeing him in the game still makes me happy. Yes, I think I'll be sticking with this game for a very long time.
Honkai: Star Rail and Genshin Impact
I think it'll be unfair to say how much better Honkai: Star Rail is than Genshin Impact, when the things it's better at are things that Genshin pointedly isn't about. Its world feels bigger and more lived-in, but it's not an open-world game, so it can use a lot more narrative-graphical smokes-and-mirrors. Its character design looks better, because it opts for sharper, more modern, shapes than Genshin's maximalist fractal design principle (which I appreciate!). Its writing is better because…
Actually, I'm still trying to figure this out. I consider Genshin to have exceptionally well-done worldbuilding, but rather rubbish writing and uninspired major plotlines. I think a lot of it because, thematically, Genshin is about how things in the past affect the present, how the present is a continuation of the past. A lot of the stories you experience in Genshin is like being in an epilogue; all the exciting things happen in the past, whereas Star Rail is more about the here and now.
Or maybe I'm just making excuses. Maybe better writers can craft better stories even with the same theme.
That said, Honkai: Star Rail has been blowing me away (although it may be because my standard is on the floor at this point). For one thing, it's not afraid to be fucked up, to say that "oh yeah, shit happens here". It leans often on its science fiction heritage, and then give you little surprises. It has a sense of humour that's a bit more bizzare, but also feels genuinely true to itself.
It's good fun. In a different way from Genshin, which is still pretty good fun though I think I'm already satisfied with it.
Amarantus
I've been looking forward to this since I played the creator's other game, if not us. if not us was obscure as hell but relentlessly genuine. Amarantus promised to be even more opaque, so I primed myself for a first playthrough where I don't understand shit, but drown in the character's drama anyway.
Having finished it I can now say yeah, it doesn't show its hand much. It sure is genuine. But it also doesn't quite gnaw at my mind the way if not us did it? It's bigger and more polished and more ambitious, with way more branching paths and more solidified characters for you to rotate around in your head, but there's something about if not us's compact size, the way it fits everything within its small scope, that made it hit harder. if not us is a black hole while Amarantus is a planet.
Or maybe it's just the simple fact that I don't click as much with literally any of these characters in Amarantus, while I was quickly drawn, drowned, in the plights of if not us's characters. Instead, I'm way more interested in Amarantus's world, its people and history, the languages, of which there's not a lot to go on. I wish it's a longer, maybe more gamey road trip game (instead of a "paying attention to your friends' gestures" kind of game).
I like the title a lot. Amarantus. I think it's from the Greek word ἀμάραντος (amárantos), which the flower amaranth also derives its name from. It means "unfading", and boy oh boy, if you've finished the game, you'd know.
Octopath Traveler II
My last playlist post was written about a week before the game's full release, so I only wrote about how I was enjoying the demo back then. Well the full version has been out for a while now and it's pretty much exactly as I expected it: excellent gameplay, with pretty basic stories that are nevertheless comfortable. Some of those stories have more twists and turns than I expected, but also some are just achingly dull, so I guess it balances out.
It does feel a bit weighty than its predecessor, a 100-hour RPG instead of the first game's 60-hour or so. While that sounds like something other people will enjoy, it's kinda taking its toll on me. I'm sure I'll beat it eventually, though.
I'm currently stuck in a boss fight, but I think it's just waiting until I'm in the right mood to tactics my way through it. I refuse to grind for level ups. That's loser talk.
Potionomics
I bought this during launch, which is, what, a year ago? I have only played maybe five hours of it total? I haven't even gotten past the first week (out of three). I'm not sure what that is.
I like it a lot, honest! When I do sit down and played it, I played for hours, and enjoying every one of those hours. I love it for what it is! And yet I'm not compelled to go back to it? It's like I'm already satisfied with it, even though I clearly haven't experienced as much of it as the creators intended. Maybe it'll be better for me if it's a smaller-scope game I can finish in a weekend? But I honestly don't think its story can be told in a weekend. Hmm. A conundrum.
Kingdoms and Castles
Now this game, I bought it on sale with the specific intent of only playing it for a weekend. I played it twice, enjoyed it both times, and then I just haven't touched it again. It's a very different game, of course; it's what I like to call "a deck of card" kind of game. Endlessly replayable and a different run each time. I can see myself picking it up again later. It's very relaxing.
I've always enjoyed city builders, Kingdoms and Castles is pretty much my ideal game in the genre. Undemanding, easy enough that I can customize how my city look, but with enough visible systems going that I can see how my decisions matter. Also it's simple, small-scope, easy to grasp. Something to play in a weekend, not something you need time to have a grasp of (I'm looking at you Crusader Kings).
I installed them but i havent really played them
Spelunky 2: I played the original (freeware) Spelunky a very long time ago and enjoyed it. I bought this so I can play co-op multiplayer with my friend (who's obsessed with it). I am, unfortunately, very bad at it, and haven't had the time to poke my friend about playing co-op. Hmm. Maybe tomorrow.
The Bookwalker: I don't wanna burden my laptop with game this big, so I installed it on the work computer lmao. I only get to play on my lunch break, and that's only if I decide not to hang out in the library instead, so it's very slow-going. I like what I've played, though.
The Final Station, Get in the Car, Loser, and Battle Chef Brigade: I've already played all these games (though only The Final Station to completion), but I wanted to play them again. So I installed them… And I haven't touched them since. Uhh whoops.
Roadwarden: I bought it at the same time as Kingdoms and Castles, but haven't touched it at all beyond the demo. I just haven't gotten in the right mood, I think.
Library of Ruina: I think I have a good ten hours or so here. I like it a lot! But also it makes my laptop's fans go whirrrrr to harsh for my comfort, so it kinda discourages me to continue.
Ghost Trick
I preordered it thinking it'll arrive when I'm back home in Jakarta but alas! Delays! It's sitting at home now, but I'm already a good 100 km away. I'll be home eventually though, so I look forward to playing it then. I haven't played it literally since it's Nintendo DS launch over a decade ago!
Other media
This Is How You Lost the Time War & Trigun Stampede
I've heard of Time War before. I've heard of Trigun before. I kept thinking, separately, prior to the tweet, that maybe I should give them a try? So it's very funny that these two media, which I didn't think could have anything to do with each other, are linked this way.
I read Time War first. I enjoyed it, but ultimately it didn't quite click with me. It did inspire me to write a whole (unrelated) story about two people pining for each other! Which I'm not going to publicly post because it's a bit obscure haha.
I watched Trigun Stampede much much later. I honestly think it's kind of bad! The pacing is a mess! The characters' motives don't make sense! The worldbuilding is half-baked at best! They sure wasted Wolfwood's entire presence!
But Vash! I love Vash! I want Vash to be happy! I want him and Wolfwood to hold hands! To understand what it's like to be human together, despite that (because!) neither of them are human! Oh. I see how it's a lot like This Is How You Lose the Time War. Too bad in Tristamp it's all just implied, with absolutely zero interest in pursuing it.
Lovely animation though, worth a watch just for that.
Piranesi
Another book that, like Time War, has been in my book wishlist for a while. It didn't take me very long to finish reading it, and I enjoyed pretty much every part of it. I like its melancholic tune, the main character's relaxed attitude, how easily he can take you into his world. It's the kind of story that, when I'm done with it, I just have to sit there and ponder the wonders of the universe. It helps me appreciate the little things in life, you know. This might be my favorite book I've read this year.
Babel: An Arcane History
This book was written by a huge fucking nerd and I appreciate it, because I am also a huge fucking nerd. It's basically power fantasy for, specifically, linguists, translators, and polyglots, and especially for those from non-western background. As a translator myself from a non-western background, inject this directly into my veins, thank you.
The prose is extremely comfortable; it guides you, hold your hands, show you where to go. It's a nice book to relax to, and it's very good at what it is, but also, haha, I will never let myself write like this, lmao. I always write like I'm running out of time, with the assumption that the reader is also running out of time. So often, I lost track of what the stories I write is meant to be, so I always chase after the ending, I imply ten things while only saying one, I hone my mind to focus on what matters in a single scene, to the absence of everything else.
To write a slow lumbering beast and still make it a good read? To have this kind of confidence? That's skill, and Babel has it in spades. I appreciate it as much as its casual tangents on linguistics and colonialism.
A Wild Sheep Chase
I used to like Haruki Murakami's novels. He can write about the most mundane things, from the perspective of an ordinary man (one, singular, almost always the same man), and still make it sounds magical. And then I got sick of his constant navel-gazing and male gaze and ludicrous sex scenes.
Found this book in the office library and it's been a few years since I last read Murakami so I figured, what the hell. I'm only in the early chapters and I already found so many of his usual tropes, which I find extremely funny, actually. At least it's entertaining in that way.
Projects and other stuff
I'm learning Scottish Gaelic this weekend. Likely will only be a one-weekend kinda thing. I just want to pick up enough to have a handle of its basic grammar and, more importantly, how to pronounce it. I should get back to studying Japanese and Chinese though. The former, I'm a bit better at than before. The latter, well uhh, sometimes I recognize words when I play a game with Chinese voice, so that's… progress?
Working on an Arknights fic. I mentioned an Arknights fic in my last playlist post; I uhh have no idea which one that was. This one is new.
Still working on my game, sorta. Should get back to that. All my other webdev projects are indefinitely on hold, though. Man it's been one million years since I properly do any web dev. Kinda have an idea for a smaller, more primitive game, while this one is kinda stuck. Came to me in a vision last night at approximately 1 am. Might work on that. Maybe not.
Honestly I've been spending most of my weekends just chilling out, playing with my cat(s), eating out (or ordering in). Maybe poking my friend to play a game together, on occasions. It's fine. This is a pretty okay life. I'm good with it.
